Tofu, The Chicks’ Natalie Maines, and Bangkok’s KFC

Reader Question: Will The Chicks Think I’m More Attractive if I Eat My Tofu? — Ken D.

Absolutely, Ken! No doubt about it. Tofu makes an excellent substitution for chicks’ eggs, which you never need to eat and are loaded with bad cholesterol (especially the yolks). Tofu can easily be used to replace eggs in baking and also makes a killer breakfast or Sunday brunch entree, i.e. “scrambled tofu.” Add a pinch of turmeric if you want that yellow color. Your arteries will thank you. Here’s a recipe from my friend Hannah Kaminksy, whose blog, BitterSweet, is well worth checking out.

Did you know that while wild chickens lay between 10–15 eggs per year, the modern egg-producing chicken (i.e. “layer”), due to selective breeding and genetic manipulation, can pump out a staggering 250–300 per year, depending on breed — which is ridiculous?

Did you know that natural chickens can live to age ten, while factory farm chicks rarely see age two, due to unnatural conditions and stresses on their bodies? After pumping out nearly an egg a day for two years, they are spent and end up in pot pies or cat food.

Did you know that the above is true only for female chicks, since males can’t lay eggs? What happens to the males? Glad you asked. They are ground up alive in macerators or smothered — suffocated — in large plastic bags or with carbon dioxide.

There’s now an effort to “sex” the chicks before hatching so that the males need not be born (in order just to die), though I’m not sure this is much better in the end. What would be better is if people simply ceased consuming eggs so that these issues take care of themselves. Why would anyone want to continue to eat eggs after learning all this?

Chickens grown to eat, known as “broilers,” have it just as bad. If you are reading this in the U.S. and you eat chicken (or eggs) there is a 99 percent chance what you are consuming originated in a filthy, polluting, and environmentally destructive factory farm. This means that the birds were genetically manipulated to grow much, much faster than nature intended and never touched the ground or saw natural sunlight…until the slaughter truck arrived. The birds were shipped to slaughter at a tender six to seven weeks of age. Their lifespan in the wild, similar to layers, would be up to twelve years.

Chickens are intelligent, social animals. KFC, the rooster reading A Brief History of Time to me, had more charisma and awareness than most dogs and cats I have known and would entertain large crowds as easily as a skilled actor; more comfortable around a camera than Greta Garbo. He also was lucky to have been rescued by a family in Thailand (making him a Bangkok er… rooster) and enjoyed a pretty unique life, including multiple Thai television appearances. Had be not been rescued, we would not know any of this, as he’d have been just another early death of the species that has the sad distinction of being (by far) the most slaughtered worldwide for food every year — nearly 10 billion (with a B) in just the U.S. alone. For a wealth of information about what really happens to chickens and other birds, visit United Poultry Concerns.

By the way, chicken is also not a “health food,” though I’m out of space this week.

Finally, Ken, if by “chicks” you meant the band formally know as The Dixie Chicks, I’ll leave you with this photo of Natalie Maines, The Chicks lead singer and a supporter of animal causes, with yours truly. Compassion with kindness is always the attractive choice. 🌱